Article By Shruti M, Presales Consultant – FLEXI Careers India
Which habits make you likeable? What attracts you to another person? Develop essential social skills that will enhance your personality to build new relationships and sustain them.
Smile and Stay Cheerful – When you see someone, smile because that makes you look cheerful and helps in making a first impression. It also makes the other person feel comfortable. Be enthusiastic!
Handshake – A firm handshake conveys confidence. It shouldn’t be too weak or display too much dominance. It helps in establishing the second step to your relationship.
Call people by their name – When you call your friend/colleague by their name it affirms that you remember them and it conveys respect. It also shows affection and makes you more friendly.
Tone of voice – Your tone matters a lot! Avoid authoritative tones. A soft tone that radiates confidence and sounds welcoming is key to the other person listening to you. Avoid harsh and rude tones, you could hurt others feelings. Even if mean behavior has been dished out to you, the way you respond determines the rest of the situation. You don’t have to win every argument. Keep the conversation in control. Be polite.
Eye Contact – During the course of a conversation it is important to maintain eye contact to show the other person that you’re engaged in the conversation, but don’t stare a lot.
Avoid using the phone – This is a huge turn off. How many times have you been messaging when someone has been saying something important to you? How many times have you attended a call when you could have avoided it?
Not only does it look disrespectful, it also makes you look like you’re not interested in listening to what the other person has to say. Your friend/family member/ colleague talks to you because they value your time and enjoy your company. Don’t spoil your time with them by being distracted by gadgets. It can kill a relationship. Put your phone away!
Listen attentively – The most irritating line you could have stated to someone “Please can you repeat that again, I wasn’t listening.” Because you were browsing your phone or your mind slowly drifted away to other worlds and you tuned off. Being attentive and present in a conversation is essential to keep your bond strong. Develop listening skills by hearing audio tracks and improve your focus by watching videos or reading books for a certain period of time. By showing them that you paid full attention they know you care about what they say.
Positive posture – When speaking sit up straight and look at the other person indicating you’re present. When the other person is speaking, bend forward a little and listen with interest with your hands on your lap, don’t cross your hands as that indicates you’re not open to ideas. Avoid body language that comes across as snobbish or distracted. Example: Blinking too much, making faces, looking nervous, fidgeting etc
Say positive things – Don’t complain often, negative statements are a sign that your outlook is not optimistic. Cribbing endlessly even if you have an agony aunt is not going to help you to say positive statements. Negative topics will dampen their spirit. When you talk about positive things in your life, it influences the other person to steer the conversation in a positive direction. Keep the conversation light, happy and interesting! Positivity has the power to change one’s outlook on a certain issue they’re facing or undergoing.
Compliment genuinely – Compliment only if you mean it. Avoid flattery – it will make you look artificial. The way a compliment is conveyed is an indicator whether you’re being genuine or not. Tone of voice is key to appreciating what you like about the person or their belongings. Plus, it makes someone’s day – it makes them feel upbeat and it can change their mood for that day. It could spark a chain of complimenting and they will appreciate someone else!
Drop your ego – Admit it, we all make mistakes. But we don’t like it when others criticize us. Everything cannot be hunky dory all the time. Be nice – apologize and mean it. Sit down and have a peaceful, open conversation with other person and avoid speaking in angry tones. Once the issue is sorted it, make sure you don’t repeat the mistake. What you said could have been hurtful – find out where you were wrong and how you can speak in a diplomatic tone.
Don’t judge – I do this a lot and many times I have been proven wrong. Even if you find some habit unbearable about the other person give them a chance. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Accepting other’s weakness/drawback is kindness on your part and important to keep the relationship going. A small misunderstanding shouldn’t spoil a long-term relationship.
Give space to the other person – As soon you’ve made a new friend, give them their space. Contact them after few days to say hello. Don’t get obsessed and bombard them with calls/messages. Take your time to add them on social networks after getting to know them and seek their permission. Avoid being nosy and clingy. Find out when you should contact them to avoid disturbing them at odd times and keep their time zone in mind. Don’t ask too many questions, limit your curiosity! Take it one step at a time. Respect their privacy and need to keep some pieces of information a secret. Giving space in existing relationships is important too. Whether it’s your family or an old friend keeping a certain amount of distance is important for any relationship to flourish and grow.
Master these super easy social skills and maintain your relationships with charm and ease!